A very difficult decision
by chris 86
Summary: What happens when a condom breaks? Are Quil and Claire going to get over what seems to be a tormating fight? Please R&R. I honestly swear is better than it sounds... :


EPOV

"Auntie Emily…." I heard Claire shouting from below. I wrapped Connor in a bath towel and nuzzled his little face. My third child was two years old and I adored him to pieces. Ephraim was 8, Leah was 6 and Connor was 2.

"Coming!" I told her and smiling to Connor I started getting him dress.

"Mama… Cuclair" he pleaded. Claire babysat him so many times she was an actual parental figure for him. I heard her fast steps climbing the stairs and soon she burst in.

"Hey little guy!" she exclaimed. "How are you?" she crooned and Connor reached out his chubby little hands for her. She took him willingly and his arms wound around her neck.

"Cuclair" he said again and she kissed him, delighted to hear him say her name. What bothered me in that pretty picture was the cloud I could see in my niece's eyes. I had raised her since her mother died and I knew every single expression of her face. That cloud in her eyes meant only one thing:

"What did he do now?" I asked her exasperated. She shook her head and murmured "later" with her lips. She helped me put Connor to bed and went to help Leah with her homework as I did with Ephraim. We ate dinner and handed Connor to Sam.

"Can you put them to bed today?" I told him and he nodded.

"Yes. Quil asked if he could be excused from patrol today. I thought something must've happened" he told me, which only confirmed my suspicions.

I gently took her from the hand and led her to the living room. We sat on the couch and we turned to face each other, as we always did when she wanted to confine in me. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, choosing her words with care.

"Here goes…" she started.

CPOV

I lay on top of him exhausted but really happy. I felt… spent. That was the best word I could find. Like if I tried to move an arm I wouldn't be able to complete the move. Quil stroked my back absent mindedly breathing hard. He took a deep breath expelled it and continued stroking my back. He didn't talk much after. At first when I was uncertain of myself it bothered me but I got used to it. He squirmed under me and I got off him. I hated that part. It was a mood breaker, having him leaving the bed, the kitchen table, the washing machine, the shower and… other places to dispose the condom. I felt like we would lose that close contact we had just achieved, which was silly. And when I told him that reluctantly, he had blushed adoringly and admitted that he couldn't stand the feel of latex on his skin more than necessary. I guess it made sense. I mean… I wouldn't want anything on my skin touching me either. Tonight it took him longer than before and I got on my elbows.

"Did you fall in?" I asked him laughter building inside me. When he finally emerged from the bathroom he looked shaken. He gingerly sat on the bed beside me and I immediately reached out to touch him.

"What happened?" I asked him worried. He turned to me and grabbed my hands on his big ones.

"Promise me you won't freak out" he told me pleadingly and I felt a chill going down my back.

"What?" I croaked and he winced.

"Well… the condom kinda broke" he mumbled and I froze right there. I started hypervalating.

"Shhh… don't worry. Everything is going to be ok" he told me as he pushed me in my arms. He still had the ability to hold me like a baby, which only made me nauseated.

"When is your period due?" he asked me and I started counting but my mind was so fogged, I started three times and got lost.

"That's ok. Stop fretting" he told me and patted my back shootingly.

It was that instant my mind started working. My eyes shone.

"Hey Helen told me about a pill… I think it's called the next's day pill. You must take it up to 72 hours after sex. It works. We have time." At that, he was the one to freeze. Well, he must have heard it somehow too.

"No. It's not a good idea' he told me but didn't actually looked at me.

"What? Why?" I exclaimed perplexed.

"It's not safe for you. It's really strong. You shouldn't take it." He told me matter of factly.

"Well, you're not supposed to take it more than thrice a year. I haven't taken it before. It's going to be fine" It felt nice knowing that he cared so much for me.

"I said no Claire and that's the end of it" I've known him all my life. Of course I knew the tone of his voice. But it never was actually directed at me before. So there's something else.

"Quil? What's the matter?" He got up at that and starting pacing the room.

"That pill works really well. It's like having an abortion" he told me and the last word fell from his lips like it was a mortal sin.

"No. That pill prevents the abortion" I calmly explained.

"No" he disagreed again. "If you're pregnant and take this pill, it causes you to lose the baby. It's another form of abortion" I got up and wore the first thing I found, his t-shirt. I felt the need to be covered.

"Quil I don't want to face the choice of a pregnancy or an abortion"

"Then don't. We'll risk it" he told me, his features a stone.

"Risk it? Quil I still have two more years of college. I want to go to University. I wouldn't be able to do that with a baby" I reasoned with him.

"You could. I would help"

"Of course you would. Quil… I'm only 18 years old. I'm too young" At that he flinched.

"Well, I'm 33. It's about time I had a family of my own" I was so furious with him right now.

"You're not ageing. We have time" I said still calm enough to talk like an adult. Unfortunately for me, my man was more like a sulking child than a 33 grownup.

"Claire… do you seriously think to kill our child?"

"THAT'S UNFAIR Quil" I shouted. "First of all you don't know there's a child. And second, I want to study, to leave my life a little. I told you the day you told me about imprinting that I want to marry you and have your children but when I'm old enough!"

"You can't decide this alone Claire" he warned me.

"I'm not. I'm discussing it with you, but you won't listen" I replied.

We stared each other for a long time, measuring each other. At last he sighed.

"Get dressed. I'll take you home. We still have time to decide" he told me. On the way home we neither said a word. But before I opened the door of the car to get out he whispered my name. I turned and saw him staring in front of him, his hands clenching the steering wheel.

"Don't do anything without me" he pleaded and I nodded.

"Of course not" I assure him.

EPOV

As she finished tears were running from her eyes. I hugged her, aching for both of them. Quil couldn't live without Claire. He adored her all her life. Claire was exactly the same but she had dreams to fulfill. Dreams Quil might not understand, but accepted and encouraged all the same. It was just bad luck. And I told her.

"I'm afraid that he won't love me so much anymore if I take the pill" she sobbed in my arms.

"Sure, he'll love me because he won't help it, but secretly he'll resent me for it"

"Oh honey, no." I told her.

"You'll get through this. Trust me, it's not a big deal. But you must know that you're sure about what you want. I mean… Claire if you decided to risk it and end up pregnant you'd still be able to fulfill your dreams. We would help" I told her. I really wanted her to know she wasn't alone. She calmed down a little and got up to her room. In an hour Quil came. He looked… awful. I offered him a drink but he declined.

"Could you tell Claire to come down please? I'll wait outside" he asked me and I nodded. I guess it was up them now.

CPOV

I wearily eyed Quil. He was sitting at the first step of the big veranda looking defeated. My heart went out to him, as always but I was afraid of what was to come. My eyes and nose were red and puffy from crying. I sat beside him.

"Hey" he said calmly enough to know he didn't want to fight anymore. I sighed. Neither did i.

"Hey. How are you?" I asked him and looked at him but he was just staring in front of him.

"I thought about last night." He told me quietly and handed me a small brown bag. But he still didn't look at me. Inside was a small white box.

"You should eat first. It's kinda strong" he told me and I felt my eyes well up.

"Why?"

"Because you're right. It's not nice to make your life more difficult. I want to make your life easier… And… there is time. Like you said I don't age." He told me wistfully.

"Thank you" it was the best I could think off. I hesitated.

"Do you want to come inside and see me take it?" I asked him.

"No, I trust you" Again his voice was grave with the importance of his words and a tear fell. I didn't make a move to get up. Finally, I cleared my throat.

"Do you hate me?" I asked him and he took my hand in his.

"I couldn't possibly hate you baby" he told me and more tears fell. Of course I knew that. It was the imprinting thing.

"Do you wish you could hate me?" I insisted and he turned to me. A small smile tugged his lips.

"No" he said simply and reached his thumb and brushed a tear away.

"Now go. I'll be waiting here. We could do something" he urged me and I got up and went to the kitchen.

His face was branded on my mind but I tried to push it away. It was the right thing to do. I wasn't ready, I told myself as I poured myself a glass of water to take the pill. I put it in my mouth and brought the glass towards my lips. And then another image came to mind. It was Quil, but a young one. He had raven hair, huge brown eyes, his skin was russet and he smiled widely. He had dimples, like me when he smiled like that and chubby little fingers. I spilled the pill in the sink and watched it go down the drain. I took a deep breath, shaken to the core and got to Quil. I sat on his lap and buried my head in his chest.

"I didn't take it" I told him and started crying because I was terrified. I truly wasn't ready to be a mother.

"Why?" he asked surprised and waited patiently for me to stop crying. But his body had visibly relaxed.

"I wish I could tell you that it was because of you, but I can't. I had the pill on my mouth and I saw a picture of our kid. How it would look like. And I just couldn't take it…" I burst to tears again and Quil held me tenderly for a long time, comforting me. In a week I had my period and we realized we didn't have to worry. I felt relieved. I had plans. But the experience was a tutoring one. Because now my plans also involved a little, beautiful baby boy, which was really never off my mind completely…


End file.
